Sunday, September 15, 2013

How to get over a break up

"Now I'm also a part of the Catladies' Club ♥ "
Was the message my friend sent me earlier today - It's really just another way of saying that her and her boyfriend just broke up. I wanted to help her and figured that since she wasn't the only one of my friends who had just broken up, I should put it on my blog in hopes that I could help more than one person through it.
So girls, today's post will be on... 
How to get over a break up

I made a list of the best advice I can give in situations like these, but if you have any ideas different than what I put up, please let me know so we can add it :)

#1 Delete all his texts and DO NOT read through them!
I cannot stress this enough, girls. Looking through old texts will only make you miss what you two had even more and you will begin to regret the decision that has been made. Just don't. Delete them ASAP and no sneak-peeking!

#2 Get rid of memory triggers
Whether it be his sweater that you recently borrowed, a plushie he gave you on your xx months anniversary, a picture the two of you took together - GET RID OF IT! It doesn't matter how, just do it. Donate it, throw it out, rip it apart, burn it, sacrifice it to the Dark Lord. I don't care about anything but the fact that it will be gone soon. (+ in case of a bad break up, burning it can be pretty satisfying).

#3 Unfollow, unfriend, delete
Speaking of pictures. Looking at all the pictures you and him took together won't exactly heal your wounds either. Get rid of all of the pictures he and you took together. What one of my friends and her boyfriend did was to take all of their pictures and put them into a shared SkyDrive folder. Do this if deleting them is too hard but DO NOT ever go back in there to look. Never.

#4 Don't stalk him
You two are over so why would you care what he does, when he does it, and with whom he does it? Go on every single social network you have and unfollow/unfriend and delete him. In case you two figure out something MUCH later on, you can always add him back. (But not in near future!). So don't be afraid to do it. Not having his Facebook updates constantly remind you of him will make you feel much better. 

#5 Stay friends? Stay apart
Even if the two of you decided to stay friends, keep your distance in the beginning. Unfriend him and keep him so until you feel ready to talk to him without emotions coming up. 

#6 Let go of your anger
If you weren't the one to break it off, there's a great possibility you have been left with some pretty mixed emotions. Especially guilt, regret, and anger. If you're angry, don't let it build up, the best thing is to get rid of it now. Besides, it takes a lot of energy to be mad all the time. Scream at the wall, burn his stuff (if you haven't already done so), throw a plate, or even make a voodoo doll! Do what it takes to let out the anger, but keep it clean. Don't hurt yourself or other living organisms in the process.

#7 Arrange a girls' night
Invite a bunch of your best girl friends over (or have somebody else do it for you if you feel like it takes too much of your energy) and have a movie night! Get some movies, preferably comedies and AVOID THAT ROMANTIC BS. Get some ice cream and forget how much it fattens for just one night. E AT LIKE PIGS! another good thing to do on this night will be in step 8.

#8 Tell the story once and then forget about it
All of your friends care for you and it is inevitably that they will all ask you tons of questions. Having to repeat something that emotionally tiring can be a really tough thing to do so telling all of them at once is a much better idea. Answer all their questions and when there is nothing left to say, ask them to never talk about it again unless you yourself bring it up. (THEN have a movie night and eat like pigs!).

#9 Keep yourself busy
Especially if you were one of those girls who spent the majority of your time with him, this step will help you out. Days will quickly feel empty and you will feel "stuck". To prevent this, all you have to do is to keep yourself busy. Go out to eat with friends, take some extra shifts at work (no seriously, this is one of the best things), have sleepovers, walk to dog. Do whatever keeps you busy and your mind off him.

#10 Learn something new
This also involves teaching yourself things. Often times, it takes a lot of time and focus learning something new and this is yet a way to keep you and your mind busy. A hobby is also good. Maybe there is something you have always wanted to be able to do but never felt like you had the time to learn? You do now! Especially an instrument would be good as music has been proven to affect our moods (but stay to the happy songs).

#11 Love is in the air, better wear a mask!
Speaking of songs. STAY AWAY FROM LOVE SONGS (Do also avoid romantic movies). I know this is harder than it sounds, especially as it seems that the entire world has been hit by Amor the exact second he and you broke up. Do your best. And if the radio station decides to show off their new 'Valentine's Day is just around the corner!'-playlist, turn it off or switch the channel. Rather listen to last Wednesday's news than those diabetes-causing tunes. BONUS: If you can't sleep, listen to anything but your own thoughts. Music!

#12 Treat yourself
To get yourself back on track, do something that really makes you happy. Get a massage, watch your favorite movie, have a wellness-day, pet a baby-kitten, ride a unicorn. It's the little things in life <3 Do what it takes to make you happy because success and happiness is the best revenge! (unless you decide to sacrifice more of his belongings to the Dark Lord).

#13 The common friendsMaybe he and you have common friends. Take your time to really think this through: are they your friends because of him or are they actually your own friends? If you choose the first option, I would say that you should stay away from them too for a while. They might as well just remind you of him or once in a while talk about him and we can't have that! 

#14 Accept it
Cry if you need to but don't keep doing it! Give yourself a time limit like "I can cry as much as I want the first week and after that it's a no-go". This way you prevent yourself from falling too deep into a depressed state, and you will be able to move on easier as soon as all of the feelings have flown through your tear ducts. What happened happened and you need to accept that.

#15 Live with no regrets!
You were just not meant to be, better stop it now than later. Don't keep thinking back on the ol' good times, wishing your life was like that again. It's common to romanticize the good parts of your relationship, convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren't that bad after all, thinking maybe it was your fault and you should just learn to live with them. Don't blame yourself. Don't trick yourself. There was a reason you ended it! Do NOT rethink your decision.

#16 Upgrade yourself!
The break marks a new era of your life. You are going to be a new person, why not consider a slight change in your appearance? Get bangs! wear pink every Wednesday! Lose weight! Gain weight! Do whatever the heck you want!

#17 Forgive and forget
People always say that. I haven't been the biggest fan of forgiving, but it does burn a lot of energy. Forgiving doesn't necessarily mean you have to treat him super nice next time you meet him, just that you won't have to hate him 24/7.

#18 Be positive!
Think of all the things you can do now. Maybe your boyfriend used to dislike you going out late at night with a big group of people. Maybe he didn't like you wearing too tight pants in front of others. Maybe he would, once in a while, throw an offensive comment at you whenever he saw that you had been talking to a guy friend of yours. Well no more of that! YOU'RE FREE!! Do what you want to do and enjoy being alone for a while!

#19 Don't look for a new guy
Don't just look for a new relationship right away, believing that it is better than being alone. Are you really that weak, girl? Can't you have fun on your own? Shame on you! A rejection would hurt MUCH more at this point. Take a break, lean back, and relax. Boys will come later, focus on yourself for now.

These were my best advice but feel free to comment if you have any other ideas on how to cope with a break up. Let's help each other!

...and remember: only time heals the wounds, but good friends are always there!


  1. It is in interesting post. I like your this blog very much. It is an little but more effective way and help.

    Aaron |
    Float Tank Massage

    1. Thank you very much for the feedback Aaron :)
      I see now that I should have written it less gender specific but I believe it still implies to both men and women
      Glad to hear you like my blog!

      Lucy Hart <3


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